Homesickness

Usually when I meet new people and we'll discuss about my time here, they ask me if I'm homesick.  I guess it's because often people get homesick when they are away from their homes and families, and if they are young it's the first time when they're living without their parents.

My answer has so far always been pretty much the same: I know that I should say yes, but no.

I don't actually even know what homesickness is.  Because yes, there has been special events, for example the birthday of my brother's, when I've been thinking that it would be nice to be at home and be part of that day, but I'm just saying it would be nice; I'm not desperate to be.  Or when I'm listening to songs from my music player there's one which I was listening to at a cold and snowy winter day, one I heard in a car just before we were saying goodbyes at the airport, one I've been listening with my brother when we were little, one I heard when I drove to different city to see my dear friend, one which my dad played to me years ago, one from my ballet spring show....and so on.  They all tell me about different situations with different people at different times.  They are all my memories and they are part of me and my life, they will always be.  But thinking them makes me feel happy and meaningful, not desperate and sad.  I guess that's the difference.

I know how it's like to miss someone, and I would say that this is nothing like it.  Maybe it's because I understand the difference of loosing people and exchange year; I'll see my family and friends soon, this is not a separation for the rest of my life.  I know that it should be hard to live on the other side of the world alone, but I'm actually confused to tell it's not that bad.  Not bad at all.  One thing which makes it way easier is my host family, because thanks to them, I'm not alone.  You can feel yourself alone even if there's people all around you, but it's not like that; they are actually supporting me and I feel like I'm part of their family.  Nothing makes me happier than the moment they say without  noticing "where's our dad" or "this is our family holiday".  I can't even tell how much I appreciate their effort trying to make my life here as good as it possibly can be.  And when I can't imagine anything being better I guess their try has been pretty successful. :))

We have been warned that first three months are the worst ones because you miss your friends and family and home a lot, but after that it's getting easier.  If that's true, then based to what my 'homesickness-level' is at the moment, rest of my year will be really easy!  I mean, of course there's days when I think  my family a lot and feel like it would be nice to be with them, but it's only a thought.  I would never voluntarily end my exchange year and go back home, never!  

Feeling good,

Liisa